Whiskey = Awkward morning

So this morning, I arrive home and walk through the door as nonchalantly as humanly possible while smelling like I had a wild romp with Jack Daniels himself last night. I almost make it to my room when my mother comes out from nowhere

    “Hey honey! How was your night?”
   
Well, now that’s a loaded question that I can guarantee she doesn’t want to know the answer to. Do you think that your sweet mother would like to hear that you spent the night at the local dive bar with friends getting incredibly trashed, doing a ridiculous amount of whiskey shots with the local townies, then proceeding to get on stage and sing “Pour Some Sugar On Me” with the cover band that happened to be playing that night? Oh yes, and you can’t forget also getting into a fight with the Taco Bell employee over whether or not you ordered 3 or 4 soft tacos (and for the record, I did order 4 tacos, thank you very much). Yeah, she doesn’t want to hear that. I settled for the next best thing.
   
    “Oh, you know…Not bad. Lindsay and I just went to dinner and hung out at her place. Nothing too exciting”

    She raises her eyebrow. She knows me too well but knows better than to say anything because like I previously mentioned, she doesn’t want to know.

I need my own place.

Really? REALLY?

Okay so I mentioned briefly in my last post that I'm not real crazy on the idea of working retail. It's not that I dislike it (side note: I do) but it's mainly just because I have a college degree. That I would like to use.
Anyways, here are some things that came up JUST TODAY of why I dislike retail. Let's review.

#1) We do have sale items. Don't get upset with me because some items are priced higher than you would like to spend. I understand it...You're talkin to a girl who ate ramen and oatmeal throughout college. BUT I didn't sew the clothing in the back room, I didn't pick out the fabric, and I didn't price it. Therefore, this is not my fault. Please take that into consideration before your glare at me and mutter about how these prices are "simply ridiculous".

#2) If you're age starts with a 5 (or anything higher) and ends with anything. Anything at all. Please don't wear extremely distressed jeans. I understand that you wanna be hip and cool...and hey, I would like to help you with that. But 95% of that population that I previously mentioned should not be wearing jeans with rips and tears.

#3) I'm not a babysitter. Kids make me want to throw up. Both of those statements should let you know that I do not want to and I will not deal with your screaming child who likes to touch everything in their little path of destruction. Please keep your child to yourself.

End rant.

If this is the real world then I'm not impressed.

I’m perfectly aware that I am like every other post-graduate right now, or at least those who paid thousands upon thousands of dollars for a top notch education with the finest professors. However, something I didn’t expect was to be working part time retail and still residing at my parent’s house in typical suburbia a year and a half after receiving the most expensive piece of paper I own. I know, I know. I’m perfectly aware that I’m not alone. Perfectly aware. There has got to be at least a few dozen other graduates who graduate from great universities, who have worked incredibly hard the past four years to build up an amazing resume and who don’t actually have any sort of a career lined up. A few dozen others who sit around day in and day out waiting for a call to set up an interview. Even better, we wait for rejection e-mails upon rejection e-mails, because the company (cough or companies cough) of our dreams are just, “not hiring at the moment”. There has to be a few dozen others who think this is absolute and complete bullshit.

I can hear my Uncle Jims voice booming in my ear and I can almost feel the spit particles escaping his mouth and landing on my face as he stands too close for comfort and says, "I feel bad for you kids graduating in this economy. It'll pick up girl, it'll pick up". Thanks Jimbo. We've heard (and perhaps felt) it all before. It will pick up. I get it but come on. College should have prepared us for this. I paid my tuition, I feel like I deserved a heads up.

So until it does, you can find me explaining the difference between Straight Leg and Skinny Jeans to 60 year old women, arguing about our return policy (14 days with a receipt), and taking much too frequent and lengthy smoke breaks. If this is the real world then I'm not impressed. I'm not impressed at all.